i need for things to be okay. i need to be less indecisive. i need to break down this wall. this thought has not run through my head in a while-- that i am not who i really present myself as. i think this time i am myself. oh what the hell am i saying? i'm contradicting myself. all i need is a little acknowledgement, perhaps some appraisal and i'll get things started on my own. perhaps i already have and with my tendency to ignore the major things, have failed to realize this. i am told they see big things for me. i fear this isn't true. i fear my future holds just the opposite. as much as i'd like to be that image they hold in their heads, somewhere inside of me i don't think i can accomplish everything they ask or expect. i don't want people angry at me for not living up to their expectations, i'm only human. but maybe get mad at me to give me some sudden inspiration and a reason. wisdom teeth are growing in but i don't feel any wiser. if anything i'm still as immature and twisted. i need this too. i can't let myself become too uptight like some people my age already have. i need to keep my childhood. childhood is like a sacred temple. no one can touch you. your innocence is they key to happiness. there may be monsters hiding in your closet or under your bed, but ultimately, there's nothing there, and you're safe. you brush things off easily without a grudge. get back up and dust yourself off and go at it. you'll fall off but the physical bruises don't mean anything. just bumps in the road. brush fingertips across knuckles as you grow older and begin contemplating in a fifteen minute period. hoping everything in the end will be okay. i swear i don't make sense.